Insecurity is very commonplace among childhood sexual abuse survivors. Violation brings a sense of mistrust and leaves its victims in a hypervigilant state, fearing others who may harm them. Like many other behaviors, its roots were to protect the victim, but as they become adults, these behaviors do not serve them well.
Such is the case with insecurity. Point blank, being violated says that someone else used you for their own pleasure and gratification or to have dominance and power over you, so it makes sense that you would feel worthless as a result. Clearly that act sent strong signals to your young mind that you had less of a value. Â The scars of that carry through adulthood and send out red flags to those around you. Most victims believe that they are “blending into the woodwork” and appearing almost invisible, yet their behavior screams loudly to those around them.
Trying to be like others, whether it is becoming promiscuous to get others to “love” you, developing eating disorders to attain the “perfect body” or trying so desperately to be liked just to have “friends” is really self-defeating because what you’re accomplishing or attempting to isn’t real. When you and others discover that, you will be left feeling more alone and empty inside.
The only cure is to realize that nothing in the world will ever fill that empty hole up inside of you because God is the only One who can. His unconditional love and undeserved grace is the only salve that can balm those aching wounds. People, even with the best intentions, will only let you down because they are human and imperfect. The air-brushed models that grace the covers of the supermarket tabloids don’t exist, either. You were made for something so much bigger and Jesus offered these stern words for those who would hurt a child: “â€œWhoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matt. 18:6)
When we devalue ourselves, we are sinning even though it may not seem like it. Insecurity is just a false sense of pride, because we are calling attention to ourselves – “Look at me and what the world has done to me. I am a victim. Pity me.” We might feel like that is what we are saying, but we are, nonetheless. There is an old saying, “You cannot be a doormat unless you lie down.”
You are a beautiful child of God. He chose you before the foundations of the earth and loved you enough to allow His only Son to die for you, a horrible death on the cross, so that you may have eternal life. Don’t worry about what others think or say; there is only One opinion that matters!